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Project: Editor     Discussion > INFO: Authorization Glossary > endorsement and comments > List of Posts
Forum Topic - endorsement and comments: (2 Items)
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endorsement and comments
I have read this document, and I support its publication by GGF.  I have the following comments and suggestions (mostly 
just grammar stuff):

Attribute: ".e.g.," --> "e.g.,"
Attribute Assertion: "valid, or may have" --> "valid or may have"
Attribute Authority Domain: "policy with the domain" --> "policy
  within the domain"
Attribute Certificate: "IETF RFC" --> just "RFC" for consistency
Attribute Schema: period missing at the end
Authentication Credential: "is typically involves" --> "typically
  involves"; also missing final period
Authorization Attribute: final sentence is redundant
Authorization Client: "entity that make" --> "entity that makes" and
  "a access" --> "an access"
Authorization Context: missing final period
Authorization Request: "requestor, or may be" --> "requestor or may
  be"
Authorization Response: "assertion, or by using" --> "assertion or by
  using"
Authorization Service: "server, or as a" --> "server or as a"
Authorization Subject: "is requesting, or has been granted" --> "is
  requesting, or has been granted,"
Authorization System: replace "One particular implementation" with "An
  implementation"?
Authorization Token: "right, or reference" --> "right or reference"
Certification Authority: "RFC3280" --> "RFC 3280" for consistency
Enforcement of access rights: term should be capitalized and
  definition should start with "The limitation of operations" for
  consistency; also, is this related to AEF?
Environmental Authority: "usage, or machine load" --> "usage or
  machine load"
Identity Token: "reference to provide proof" --> "reference to a
  proof"? also, "entity, or a token" --> "entity or a token"
Initiator: "e.g." --> "e.g.,"
Privilege: "typically has a lifetime explicitly associated" -->
  "typically with an explicitly associated lifetime"
Privilege Assertion: "assertion, see" --> "assertion. See"
Privilege Authority: "has been delegated the authority" by whom?
  perhaps "An entity with the authority to issue" is better.
Relying party: "party" --> "Party"; "assertions, or" --> "assertions
  or"
Source of Authority: missing final period
Subject: "e.g." --> "e.g.,"; "as to" --> "to"
Trust: "risk associated with" what? actions? how about "The
  willingness to accept the risk associated with actions expecting
  beneficial outcomes, based on assertions by other parties."
  Personally I would remove "expecting beneficial outcomes".
Trust Authorities: how does this relate to other authorities, like the
  Assertion Authority? also, should probably be "Trust Authority"
  instead of "Trust Authorities" for consistency.
Wire Format: uses both "wire" and "format" in the definition. how
  about "The specified data organization for network messages for
  interoperability between systems and domains."
X.509 Certificate: "IETF RFC2459" --> "RFC 2459" for consistency; "as
  End Entity Certificate," --> "as an End Entity Certificate."
Expansion of Acronyms: This section appears to contain acronyms that
  are not used elsewhere in the document. Is this intentional?
References: Add references for RFC 3281, SAML, Internet Protocol,
  Kerberos, and ITU-T Recommendation X.509 to this section? Also, why
  do you reference both RFC2459 and RFC3280 when 2459 is obsoleted by
  3280?
Thank you
Thank you Jim for your detailed review and comments. I have applied virtually all your recommendations to the document. 

Markus

 
 


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This is a static archive of the previous Open Grid Forum GridForge content management system saved from host forge.ogf.org file /sf/go/projects.ggf-editor/discussion.info_authorization_glossary.endorsement_and_comments at Sun, 06 Nov 2022 09:03:04 GMT