Description: |
These comments relate to the Feb 16, 2003 version of the "Platform" document:
- Section 1, para 4, (very minor nit!) "The purpose of this document is to document...." sounds a little odd.
- Section 3.1, para 1, "details" should be "detailed"; para 2: "address" -> "addresses".
- Page 7, in the bullet labeled "Policy", I suggest a comma after the word "systems," for readability.
- Page 9, 2nd bullet: "The goal is that system..." -> "systems".
- Page 10, last para before S4.1: "elements" -> "element".
- Section 4.1.1, 2nd para: insert "of" after "principles" (2nd line)
- S4.2, para labeled "Policy":
(i) "goal or course of method of action" - should that be "goal or course of action or method"??
(ii) "administer, manage and control" - I don't know if there is a subtle difference implied by each of these, but if
not then it seems to me that the meaning would be conveyed just as well by simply "manage."
- Page 17: there's a reference error below the diagram.
- Page 18:
(i) top line: "polices" -> "policies"
(ii) the final para on the page seems as if it could easily be broken into sub-paras or bullets, and would be easier to
read.
- Page 19: 1st para has "that that" in the final line. . |